I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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