is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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