i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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