We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You have to summon your inner elephant
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
