My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think I died a long time ago.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
