Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
