Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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