Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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