Nicole vs. Life
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My dick has a subreddit
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
