Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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