So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize