My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
