I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
