How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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