I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
