No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
