I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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