One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize