This girl is more easily done than said...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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