I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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