I love black thongs
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
