I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
