You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
