And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
