Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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