Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
