I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
