y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
