I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
