Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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