my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
