I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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