I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
