Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
