That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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