If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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