I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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