i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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