so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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