This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize