walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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