you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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