This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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