Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
