she looked like the before picture.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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