i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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