Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
