I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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