please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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