You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
