respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We had sex on a dog bed..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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