Barsexuality is the new black.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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