Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
