Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
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He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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