I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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