Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just tell him i said nine months
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
