You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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