My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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