Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
